2019: SECURITY

Anyone else struggle with their identity?  Someone's words or behavior can literally change the trajectory of your day or week?  You find yourself replaying it over and over again and sort of spiral down this rabbit hole of "not enough" or "I should have..." or "I will never be..."

Yeah, me too. 

But my goal this year is value a healthy fear of the Lord OVER fear of Man. 

I want to grow so much in my security in HIM that people's thoughts and actions cannot affect me the way they have in the past. I want to believe the TRUTH that He made me uniquely and wonderfully and how my emotions are beautiful.  I want to be fully myself and fully alive and present and not hold back worried about if its "too much" or if someone will leave or betray me. 

Nope. I am not going to worry about that.  I want to live life in FULL COLOR not safe and in black and white.

So I see you 2019.  I am coming for you - heart open, feet firm, and head lifted high.  This is the year I am going to live in SECURITY.  Who I am am and WHOSE I am.

It's a BOY!

I am THRILLED to announce that we had a little BOY last week!

Tuesday, September 5th at 7:54am little ANDREW MOOSE MISEGADES came into the world while Hillsong's "Oceans" was playing.

He weighed in at 8 lbs 7 oz and was 19.75 inches long. (Our shortest but heaviest baby!)

We hired a photographer to capture the moment Logan told me as well as Logan's proud waiting room moment... Both of those experiences were exactly WHY we wanted to do surprise gender this time and it exceeded all expectations! Before I share all of those the pictures, I did want to explain the details behind his name.

ANDREW -

This is a story I have only shared with a handful of people.  Because we weren't sure on the gender, I was a bit insecure on sharing this yet.  In 2015 I was sitting in a sermon at our church in Southlake.  Chloé was only 5 months old so there was no future baby on our radar.  During the sermon, our Pastor was actually going through all of the disciples and how they died a martyrs death.  When he got to Andrew he choked up as he explained that "Andrew was whipped severely by seven soldiers in Greece and then crucified. His followers reported that when he was lead towards the cross, Andrew said these words 'I have long desired and expected this happy hour.'  He continued to preach to his tormentors for two days until he died." I don't know how to explain it but at the very moment I had the thought WOW what a man of faith, I feel like the Lord downloaded a promise into my heart.  In my heart and spirit I feel like He told me, You are going to have a son and his name will be Andrew.  From that moment on, I have held onto that promise.  I wasn't sure if Andrew would be this baby, a future biological baby, a future adopted baby, or a future boy that we mentored.  What has been cool is the timing of all of this.  He told me this is August 2015 and my anxiety/ insomnia started in September of 2015 and then last summer I had all my health scares surrounding my voice and swallowing.  I remember the darker days when I wasn't sure if I was going to make it through or wondering if I was about to receive a terminal diagnoses... The Lord would gently remind me that He was not through with me yet because I still have a son to be born named Andrew.  So in those valleys, I had a flicker of hope.... The promise of THIS little boy.  Andrew has never been on Logan's or my radar as a name ... ever ... but we obediently named him Andrew and it couldn't be more fitting because of the meaning and the Promise behind it.  He is our redemption baby.

MOOSE -

Moose is actually Logan's Mom's maiden name (Sherilyn Moose).  Pictured below is Grandpa Moose who Logan had a really special relationship with.  Growing up he was always jealous of his cousins who got the last name MOOSE because he thought it was so cool.  We are hoping our boy thinks the same thing! I mean he's bound to be cool with a name like THAT!  Another funny fact is that Logan out of all his siblings favors the Moose side of the family versus the Misegades.  So THERE is the mystery of "Moose" explained for everyone.

People have been asking what to call this little man of ours.  I want it to be organic.  I will refer to him as Andrew but we already have a pretty big fan club calling him Moose.  I am sure the "Moose" popularity will only increase over the coming years, especially when sports get introduced, ha! 

"Blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord." LUKE 1:45 

Maternity Pictures

5 Days to go Ninja Baby. 

So thankful we had these taken.  Dorly you are magic.  These pictures will make me smile ALWAYS.  

Margot or Andrew? 

Either way, you are loved FIERCELY! We know you are STRONG. BIG. And WIGGLE A LOT! 

All my love, my dear XX

Mommy

Curveballs.

Well we have had some major changes the past few weeks! In early July our landlord told us he wanted to put our house on the market and that we essentially had 60 days to be out.  (He was nice it was just terrible timing.) At the time, I was due for my C-Section in 62 DAYS so it was extremely stressful thinking about finding a place we liked and moving so quickly.

The whole time I knew there was a reason behind it but it didn't help the fact that I was going to have to go through the hassle of moving in the 108 degree heat while 8 months pregnant....  (Our plan was for our next move to be into a house we BOUGHT, not another rental.)

However, God aligned the timing of everything.  We were actually test driving a car at Sewell when we got the call from our landlord which is why we opted NOT to get a new car.  If our landlord had called us the following day or week, there is a high chance we would have already bought that car!

As we started looking at rentals in Richardson, we realized that prices had gone up substantially in the 2.5 years we had been renting.  To get a house in similar condition with similar square footage was going to cost us more... Not to mention, Stella starts kindergarten next August so school was a factor while we were looking.  (Thus the car payment $$ being repurposed)

We looked at a few promising homes and even got caught up in a Craigslist scam that resulted in me working with a detective ... long story.  At the end of the day, God provided a GREAT home that was only 1.2 miles away from where we were living and is bigger AND nicer.  If we were going to have to move, at least we were upgrading and not downgrading.  It was a bit more expensive but since we opted to not buy a car right now, we will be okay.   Turns out, buying skinnier car seats is less expensive than buying a new car ha!

So last week while Logan was at a work conference in Charlotte and my Mom and Chris were in Colorado, I packed up our entire house with the help of LOTS of friends and my Dad and Kelley. There were a lot of tears and pity parties... Thank goodness the girls had camp.

Logan flew home Saturday night and we bit the bullet and hired movers for Sunday morning and voila! We are officially in our new home which gives me 6 weeks to NEST until this baby arrives! WHAT.A.WHIRLWIND.

Thank you to EVERYONE who has watched the girls, brought meals, helped me pack, taken over loads of boxes, and CLEANED OUR NASTY OLD PLACE!!! I could NOT have made it through this move without you all and I feel very blessed to have such a strong and servant-hearted tribe.  I hope I can return the favor someday.

Cheers to purging! AMAZING community! FRESH Starts! And a NEW BABY coming soon!!! Oh... and that MOVE BEING OVER WITH!!!

Why Surprise Gender?

I was the girl who back in the day said... I COULD NEVER DO THAT anytime I met someone doing surprise gender.  I thought to myself... I am too Type-A. Too much of a planner. Don't want gender neutral stuff. Etc. Etc. Etc.

So with Stella and Chloé both, we found out the gender and I LOVED knowing!

For Stella I wanted to know so that I could have a VERY PINK or VERY BLUE baby shower.  I did not want yellow ducks and grey elephants. I wanted to OWN the gender.

For Chloé since I had to have a scheduled C-Section the whole thing felt very clinical and anti-climatic so although we knew her gender, we chose to share her NAME after she was born which was really fun! HOWEVER, the unexpected feelings I had with Chloé the night before were thoughts of fear, anxiety, and dread... Everyone was so excited to meet this baby but they weren't the ones having to undergo a major surgery and recovery.  Don't get my wrong, I was excited but equally dreading the whole thing.



After talking to my stepsister, she told me the only emotion she felt the night before her third C-Section was one of EXCITEMENT in finding out the GENDER.  All other emotions paled in comparison to the anticipation of THAT.   (They found out with their first 2 and did surprise for their 3rd. She is now pregnant with their 4th and said they are definitely NOT finding out again because it was one of the coolest moments of her life!)

So this time, in and effort to curb some of that night-before anxiety, we are going to see if this surprise gender deal helps! I can tell you with 9 weeks left... I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!

I did NOT do this to be cool or trendy...but rather to help cope with the dread surrounding the procedure.   It was SO HARD at first.  ESPECIALLY when girls who are due around the same time as me had their gender reveals around 12 weeks.  When my doctor called me to share my genetic test results and said... Are you sure you don't want to know the gender? I have it right here..... I toyed with the idea for a minute but knew Logan would be so sad if I found out without him.  I literally had to sit on my hands for the next 15 minutes to keep myself from calling back and saying NEVERMIND PLEASE TELL ME!!!!

The next hurdle was the big sonogram at 20 weeks which confirms the sex of the baby.  We did toy with finding out the gender in the waiting room that day... but then chickened out since we had made it SO FAR already!  They turned the screen off before we could see anything.

Since then, it hasn't really crossed my mind! We are now 30 weeks and my biggest fear at this point is my doctor or someone else slipping up and accidentally referring to IT as a HE OR SHE... I would just be so sad if after all this effort, THAT happened!



We are going in every 2 weeks now and I remind them EVERY SINGLE TIME that I do NOT want to know.  I had a few friends and family members say they didn't think I would last until September and my stubbornness to prove them wrong has also fueled my determination to stay strong and WAIT!  ALSO, Logan cannot wait for his BIG MOMENT of saying "IT'S A _____" to a waiting room of people and I can't wait to give him that.  We are also going to ask the doctor if LOGAN can tell me the gender of the baby in the operating room since he will be right there.

We are pretty certain we have our BOY AND GIRL names picked out but are open to changing them if something we like better comes around in the next 9 weeks!  At the beginning of this pregnancy I was VERY vocal about wanting a little boy and to be honest, I still would love a boy just to experience parenthood from both gender perspectives...but guys... We are GOOD at girls.  Stella and Chloé are playing together now and it is the cutest thing to watch.  I really can picture myself being a girl mom and just owning it ... PLUS I REALLLLYYYYY love our girl name and would love the chance to use it!

So there you have it... the reasoning behind our surprise gender decision! Everyone that I have talked to that has done it before has told me I absolutely WILL NOT regret it!

So stay tuned... we will know September 5th!

Halfway There!!! Bebe Misegades 3.0

I don't know why God has blessed our family with another perfectly healthy baby especially when I have so many dear friends who are facing different circumstances right now. Roads I've never had to nor would WANT to travel. I'm so thankful and at the same time feel like life is messy and hard and flat out not fair sometimes. Why didn't these things happen to me? I don't deserve any of these gifts.But I will Praise You God for another precious life. And another gorgeous healthy growing baby. To my dear friends (you know who you are) ... I'm not in your shoes but I am on my knees and will battle this out alongside you. So hard to be heavy and joyful at the same time. Love to you! 

Welcome to 33

A few thoughts and lessons I have learned over the past year... 

+ Do not take your health for granted.  It can change overnight.  

+ Be thankful for REST. Make REST a priority. 

+ Exercise doesn't have to be punishment. Find something that you genuinely enjoy and stick with it.

+ You don't have to have 100 best friends.  You don't even have to have 10. The older I get, the more I realize that my circle may be smaller, but it's deeper. And I can be picky about who I spend my (very limited) free time with. 

+ Show up for people. If they are local... do something more than hide behind a text. Pick up the phone and call. Drop by for a visit. 

+ FIGHT for CONTENTMENT.  In your marriage. Your house. Your season. Your belongings. Stop the comparison game since all it does is rob you of joy. 

+ Find a creative outlet and make time to do it.  For me, it's reading and writing.  I put it on the back-burner for so long but it is something that makes me come alive.  Find your thing and MAKE TIME for it no matter how busy you are. You will be happy you did. 

+ Self help books are great...but NOTHING compares to THE WORD.  THE WORD is the source of all life and truth and wisdom.  Open it daily. 

+ Don't hold grudges.  They eat you up way more than the other person. Forgiveness is hard but necessary if you want to possess JOY.    

+ What you watch/ read/ listen to can really affect you.  Be selective.  You don't have to get rid of everything but have a sensitivity (AND BE WILLING) to get rid of stuff that is taking up unnecessary space in your head and your heart. 

+ Marriage is worth fighting for.  Having a built in cheerleader and best friend instead of an enemy or roommate/ co-parent is SO much more fun! Communicate. Choose love. 

+ Friendships have seasons. Some people you thought would be lifelong friends sort of fade away and then you meet someone new and to your surprise, feel instantly connected... like you've known them your entire life.  Be OPEN to new friendships and be thankful for the lessons that old ones have taught you.  

+ Don't try to control things... especially holidays and toddlers ha! I used to have unrealistic expectations about how certain days would look and pan out and that is officially out the window.  I have forced my Type A self to be a bit more of a free spirit... Wake up. Have a good attitude. Make PLANS .... BUT make the best of them if they go haywire! Dance in the rain, right? Lemons into lemonade? Trite but true. 

+ Be open to criticism. You are not perfect. Don't be shocked when people point that out. Be gracious. Be a safe place.  LISTEN before getting defensive. 

+ Shed the insecurity and just be confident in who you are instead of who everyone expects you to be.  Don't be a cookie cutter. Be who God uniquely designed you to be. 

Welcome, 33. I am thrilled to see what lessons you have in store! 

2016: YEAR IN REVIEW

JANUARY

FEBRUARY

MARCH

APRIL

MAY

JUNE

JULY

AUGUST

SEPTEMBER

OCTOBER

NOVEMBER

DECEMBER

 

No, I will not be coming to your holiday party...

When you have plans every single night of December and all you are is stressed, tired, and worn out.... Is the holiday season even FUN???? 

A few years ago, I asked myself this very question.... I used to LOVE a calendar full of squares filled up with fun plans but in the past few years (probably since having kids) these types of months/ weeks completely wear me out and I almost need a "vacation" to recover from my weekends.  (I love those of you who do Advent calendars but the thought of them gives me major anxiety for this very reason!) 

Although I have an extroverted personality, I definitely recharge my batteries by being home and not having plans.  If I spend too much time "busy" I don't have much left in my tank to pour into my people.  I find myself irritable, grumpy, and dragging instead of excited, joyful and energetic! 

So especially around the holidays when there is SO much going on (all really fun things) I really pick and choose what we commit to.  We make plans to have NO PLANS on many of our nights so that we can spend spontaneous time driving around looking at lights or having a family movie night complete with hot chocolate and popcorn.  We may not get to do everything on the "Dallas Christmas To Do" list but I am okay with that because I have more energy to enjoy the things we DO commit to and we can always catch the rest another year! 

So if you are wired anything like me, I would challenge you to make an effort to de-clutter your schedule over the holidays.  You don't have to say YES to everything.  I can assure you that you will enjoy your holiday season much more! You will be rested up and excited for the nights that you do have plans and enjoy your quiet evenings at home enjoying the warm fire and twinkle of lights on your tree.  

Thank(full)

In the wake of Thanksgiving and approaching Christmas, I am just thankful.

Thankful for my marriage, my girls, my improving health, my community, my church, my friends and my home.  Hardest year to date but in that refining fire, we have come through stronger, bolder, and tougher.  Praise Him.



I have learned that when we adopt an attitude of gratitude it helps us when we struggle with comparison, envy, or jealousy.

I listened to a sermon recently that talked about the "spiral" we can sometimes find ourselves in.  The one where our mind just goes down a rabbit hole of insecurity, fear, or negativity.  Sometimes you have to TAKE A MINUTE and snap yourself out of it.  How? By saying out loud every single thing you are thankful for.  I have tried this the past few days as my mind has been flirting with my anxiety and insomnia again and I just have to stop. Center. Refocus. And give thanks! My God reigns. He is victorious over every battle.

So now, I remain FULL of thanks.  Thank(FULL) for all He has entrusted with me. I desperately want to lead well. Love BIG. And be a good steward of all the gifts He has lavished on me. 

How it Felt to be a Trump Voter This Week

I have been a closet Trump voter this week.  Why? As a person who doesn't like confrontation and fears rejection, I wanted to hide and not put myself out there or take a stance either way.  Don't rock the boat, Abby.  You will lose friends and people's respect over this. But why are so many allowed to voice how they feel, yet somehow I feel like I can't?  So before you read on please treat me and my {probably different} opinion with respect.  Because we are all allowed to have our own opinions and this is mine. 

I am for freedom of speech and I am GLAD that we don't live in a cookie cutter America.  How boring would that be? But the very people who claim to be "open minded" seem to be very close minded this week.  I have felt family members, friends and strangers label me as a LBGT-hater, a bigot, racist, sexist, etc. and for the past few days I have zipped it. My parents always told me if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.  But I want to take a moment and respectfully tell you how I landed on this {not easy} decision. 

To start off, I contemplated NOT voting but NOT voting is an easy cop-out.  So I wrestled with the decision and frankly went back and forth.  Truthfully, I wanted NEITHER candidate.  I am FULLY aware of Trump's past and horrifying commentary {which he has apologized for} and that is the very reason I did NOT vote for him in the Primaries.  I also RESPECT Hillary voters because to be honest... I almost voted for HER.  There are SEVERAL issues that I agree with HER on. I find her poised, seasoned, determined, and honestly inspirational. I would also LOVE a female President someday and I loved her empowering speech to young girls and how they can do and be anything they want to be. I AGREE!!! I have 2 little girls of my own and I am already instilling that very thing in them.  I also want to point out that some of my very favorite people in the WORLD are from the LBGT community and I am fiercely PRO-REFUGEES.  My Mom's school is FULL of them and I adore each one of them. I fully intend on continuing to serve and minister to them despite the election results.  But for me, when push came to shove I voted on the platform.  I voted on the Supreme Court. I voted with a 30-40 year perspective vs. a 4 year stint in office. 

But to clarify to so many that do not understand HOW or WHY.  Here is what I voted FOR. 

A government who is: 

Pro America
Pro-Life
Pro Military
Pro Constitution
Pro Veterans
Pro Law enforcement
Pro 2nd amendment
Pro Israel
Pro Legal Immigration
Pro Limited government
Pro Constitutional Supreme Court
Pro Religious liberty
-Anti Obamacare
-Anti Common Core
-Anti Political corruption in DC

I am more conservative when it comes to social issues.  But isn't that okay? Can't we all hold true to our own convictions?  

Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I have to disrespect you as a person.  

And you know who has handled this transition with SUCH grace? That would be the two people who stood to lose the MOST in all of this.  Hillary Clinton AND President Obama.  Their speeches made me proud. WELL DONE to both of them.  President Obama said the Presidency is like a relay race.  You get passed the baton, run as best as you can, and then gracefully pass it off to the next person.  He said ANY amount of progress you made in your short term is a WIN! So now it's time to pass the baton temporarily to Donald Trump.  

If you didn't watch Trump's Victory Speech after he won, I would highly encourage you to, as painful as it may be.  As a closet / skeptical Trump voter it actually affirmed my decision and got me excited! I look forward to seeing what an incredibly successful and smart businessman can do for our country in regards to infrastructure, bringing jobs back to America, and our national debt. I think it will be exciting to watch. Lets PRAY FOR HIM.  That he puts wise and strong leaders and influencers around him in DC.  (He is going to need it!) And pray that he is able to accomplish all the GOOD THINGS he says he wants to accomplish for the greater good of our country. 

As college student Cassie Hewlett expressed:

"Silencing those who simply exercised their right to vote in our free nation violates the core principles for which our country stands. I am by no means saying that those who were not happy with the results of the election do not have the right to mourn. They absolutely do. However, I am saying that those who are content with the results should feel safe in expressing their joy and optimism for the future of this country without the fear of being ostracized."

Full post here. 

And as a Democrat Riaz Patel put :

The worst outcome of the election is that we have each been reduced to a series of broad labels that no longer reflect who we are. Mexican. White. Republican. Immigrant. Muslim. We may try to look at people as “labels” but we’ll never truly see them because THEY do not look at their own lives & families as labels. If, in the misery of this morning’s election hangover, we choose to continue to refer to Trump supporters as one collective “Them” I think that is as offensive as anything else I’ve heard in this election cycle and as ungracious as anything we feared from Trump supporters in the defeat we assumed would be theirs. I think a key part of beginning to heal is realizing Trump is not his supporters. Who he is and how he campaigned are truly distasteful to me. But his supporters are not him. They voted for a variety of reasons that are important and personal to them. And when I was with them this past weekend, everyone I came across showed me kindness & humanity. I hope, for their sake, the quality of their life improves. And that they are able to continue to work and provide their families with a safe and loving home.

Full article here. 

I think the way we treat, love, and serve one another is separate from who is in the Oval Office. We need to start BEING THE HANDS AND FEET of Christ. Not all churches are the same. Not all Trump voters are the same. Not all Democrats are the same. We each have our own convictions and reasons why we voted the way we did and truly, I respect all of my friends and family who voted for the other candidate. It was a hard decision for me.
All I am asking is for that respect to be mutual. 

CHRIST = LOVE

Lets be like HIM.